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Coming to the end of Exams? Or still in the middle? How to recognised a stressed child
We all want to help our children and young people succeed in their exams, especially in their preparation and choices beyond these testing times. But how do you recognise if your child is particularly stressed? What can you do to help calm them so they can continue their exams without feeling the adverse effects of stress?
A little bit of stress is the necessary and useful response in times of pressure, but too much will cause adverse effects, as we all know.
A great place to direct your child to (as it is unlikely they will listen to you, of course!) is informative websites that can communicate directly to them without the authoritarian edge.
Sites like the BBC’s Radio 1 advice pages, which has a great section on schools and studying, and lists the following as Stress Symptoms:
- Difficulty getting to sleep or difficulty waking up in the morning
- Constant tiredness
- Forgetfulness
- Unexplained aches and pains
- Poor appetite
- Loss of interest in activities
- Increased anxiety and irritability
- Increased heart rate
- Migraines/headaches
- Blurred vision
- Dizziness
Three or more of the symptoms can indicate stress, so make sure that both you and your child are aware of the signs. There are also hints to manage the stress, including learning to recognise the signs of stress, eating right, communicating and sleeping well!
These all seem like common sense approaches to dealing with stress, but we are often loath to follow them ourselves so expecting our children to follow our advice can be frustrating. Peers, and media channels that speak to them directly, can often do this in a less judgmental way and reduce confrontation (and therefore even more stress).
It can also help you approach more difficult subjects without conflict, such as the use of alcohol, cigarettes and so on to combat stress; as well comparisons with others, bullying and more.
Have you recognised any signs of stress in your child at exam time? How did you cope with it?
Waiting for GCSE results
If you are a parent waiting for GSCE results, you will probably be under just as much, or maybe more pressure, than your child.
As the ones that have gone through the agony of exams, education, further education, university and careers realise – there is a lot at stake on those exam paper slips and emails. And it is not just down to the opportunities that these grades can provide, it is also the impact that it can have on your child’s self esteem. So how can you relieve the tension of waiting for GSCE results?
Make sure that you are not focusing on these results too much – they are very important, of course, but one bad result (or two!) will not be the end of the world. Talk about other people’s career paths, different ways of finding careers, overcoming obstacles and retaking exams. If your child is disappointed or does have to retake, he won’t be the only one, and lots of other people have gone through the same process and came out on top.
Focus on your child’s interests and give them so breathing space. Talk about their long term career goals – do they have a dream job? Where do they want to be in ten, twenty, fifty years? Even if there are no sensible suggestions, thinking about the overall picture can be very helpful. Once you are on your career path, have you ever given much thought to your own exam results?
While you wait and panic about the results, remember that your child is too, even though the teenage approach is not to show it! Your son or daughter is thinking about the implications of the future that their exam results hold. The teenage years are fraught enough with hormones, rebellion and more, so added results stress is a recipe for a very unhappy home. And with the added impact of social media and instant communication between friends and the rest of their peer group, emotions will be high. Again, communication is the best option, but make this a very open discussion about the long-term future, don’t get stuck on niggles. It may not be easy for your son or daughter to talk to you directly, so ensure that they have someone they can talk to – a trusted friend, a member of the family, an online support group or an independent careers advice service such as Career Analysts.
At Career Analysts, we look objectively at a young person’s interests, skills, personality and ambition in order to advise them of suitable career paths, and how to get that dream job. We build up a profile by looking at their personal & education history, and personality, interests and values. This helps us identify their personality traits, preferences and needs, particularly in relation to work. This includes filling out questionnaires at home and spending the day with us at our offices for a consultation.
We build a true, holistic picture of your child’s character, with them, building an accurate profile of who they are and what motivates them. Our fully trained Occupational Psychologists then analyse the data and interpret the results. He or she will help to identify new options, define goals and develop an action plan for the future, for your child.
Your consultant will then follow up with a comprehensive written report of the assessment results and career counselling session, documenting the action plan and the many practical follow-up steps discussed during the session.
This will allow you and your teenager to take a look at their options, assess their ideas for future careers, interests and aspiration and go into the great unknown prepared and motivated. As we’ve known since they were babes in arms, parents set the best example for their children. If you’re stressed, chances are they will be too. With an independent careers advice service you know that you can prepare your child fully and give them the confidence to go for their ideal career, whatever exam results they receive.
We hope you and your child have a fairly calm, stress-free exam results waiting period. And good luck from Career Analysts!
A Level or GCSE exam results approaching? Time to get ready!
If your child is nervously awaiting their exam results this summer, what can you do to ease the pressure?
Firstly, don’t get too attached (or don’t let them get too attached) to their first choices – they may not get the results they want and may have to go through the clearing process. This shouldn’t be perceived as a huge failure. It happens, as we know life is full of disappointments, big and small, and your child is probably hard enough on themselves without added parental pressures. As long as they did their best, they can be very proud.
Take a look at their options, assess their ideas for future careers, interests and aspiration and go into the great unknown prepared and motivated. As we’ve known since they were babes in arms, parents set the best example for their children. If you’re stressed, chances are they will be too.
While you wait for the inevitable big reveal, take into account that although they might not show it, your son and daughter is thinking about the implications of the future that their exam results hold. The teenage years are fraught enough with hormones, rebellion and more, so added results stress is a recipe for a very unhappy home.
What can you do? Ease the pressure, take their mind of it, focus on their interests and give them some breathing space. Now is not the time to talk about what might happen in the next few months, but focus on long term steps. What are their overall career goals? Where do they want to be in ten, twenty, fifty years? Even if there are no sensible suggestions, thinking about the overall picture can be very helpful. Once you were on your career path, have you ever given much thought to your own exam results?
Stress can also affect you and them physically, so make sure that you are all eating healthily, exercising and taking time to relax properly. It may not be easy for your son or daughter to talk to you directly about their fears, so ensure that they have someone they can talk to – a trusted friend, a member of the family, or even an online support group.
With these stress busters in place, a plan in case the results don’t turn out as hoped, and a long term view, you and your child should have a fairly calm waiting period. And good luck from Career Analysts!
Career Analysts 